Ghosts of Halloween Past

It’s dark. The sun has set and the sky black. The street lights glow, illuminating the sky around them with a honey-colored tint while casting shadow dances on the asphalt below. The lights hum a low pitched noise that is muffled under scuffling sneakers and distant screams. In the screams, you can hear laughter and fear muddle together tonight, this night of IMG_7778 2Halloween. 

For as long as I can remember, Halloween has been my favorite holiday. I love the idea of dressing up, endless sweets, and spooky things. For one night, I felt like I could be anything I wanted to be. I loved changing my persona, acting in character, and wowing my audience. I loved dressing in the scariest costumes I could find when I was old enough to enjoy the fright of the evening

Up until I entered high school, I loved getting home, putting on my costume, chowing down my dinner, to then meet up with friends and go trick-or-treating. That means it has been ten years since the last time I remembered what it felt like to walk up to another home and have strangers drop sweets in a goody bag.  I experienced trick-or-treating again on the 27th in Bronx, New York. It was an event catered toward children, but the adults let me join in on the fun. There’s a rush that comes with never knowing what treats you’ll get or the impression you will make.

As I got older, and trick-or-treating was swapped with parties and bar crawls, I found myself paying even more attention to the persona I put on. The costumes were stripped away, and my street clothes became the background to my smoky, and gory makeup. I wore colored contacts to draw even more attention to the depths of my new stoic character. Painted my lips blood red and my face ghostly white (yes, whiter than my already porcelain skin). I loved, still love, becoming something else for one night, or weekend of the year.

I hope my costumes become an inspiration for others in more years to come! Here as some of my more recent looks that focus mostly on the makeup and not the clothes.

And a video, for one of my interactive outfits.

 

 

I Wrote a Novel

For my Master’s thesis, I undertook 280+ pages of pure emotion that bleed throughout my first completed fiction piece. I only needed to write a 20-page academic paper to get my degree, but my advisor encouraged me to write a novel because it is what I want to do in life. It was hard, but I did it

Entering February, I only had a 1/4 of my book done and I needed it completed before the end of March. In April, I found myself trying to edit my book, but there was so much more I neede to accomplish, including actually writing that 20-page academic paper.

Although the novel isn’t where I wish I would be, I would love to share my site, some samples of my book, and where you can find it as I start the process of publishing my work. I look forward to blogging more about my process and the steps that are to come in the

Book Synopsis

Elizabeth Calhoun fantasizes about her child’s future, while her daughter, Annabelle, fights for her life after a devastating accident. The traumatizing sight of her daughter in pain spurs Elizabeth to gather her thoughts into letters for Annabelle to read. For two years, Elizabeth fills the letters with stories and advice while imagining a world where her daughter opens them after turning eighteen.

What remains on the page is a mother looking back on vulnerable teenage years, misguided decisions, and serendipitous first loves, all while reexamining who she is as a person. The letters tether the mother and daughter together through a collection of memories that Elizabeth uses to uncover who she is through the words of wisdom she aims to pass along to her daughter.

To face the harrowing details of love, anger, grief, and relationships, Elizabeth must come to terms with her daughter’s altered life journey and meet her darkest temptations. Through the process of Elizabeth’s passage through madness, depression, and pain, this evolving stack of letters collect on her desk and become a refuge that both heals and terrifies a mother.

About the Novel

I conceived the idea of Open When, my first self published novel, while reflecting ways I have tried to help my friends and family through trying times. During my time spent writing, I traveled to Leavenworth, Washinton to experience life in such a unique city. From there the idea of having letter writing tether two lives together inspired the epistolary form of the letters. The entirety of the novel is narrated by Elizabeth, the mother, as she encounters advice that her daughter may need in the future while still maintaining the form we have all come to know within letter writing. The novel had its first reading on May 10th, 2019 during “XE Thesis Symposium” where I presented on the Explorations of Form.

Enchantment Park, Leavenworth, Washington when I was on-site for research 

Sample of the Book

Purchasing a Copy

Within the immediate future, I will revisit the manuscript, initially prepared for my graduate thesis, and prep it for literary agents to manifest it across bookshelves in the future as a way to inspire more to understand life’s most difficult times. In the meantime, Open When is available for purchase on Lulu Publishing.

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

NYC Bedroom

Sometimes I miss my old room.

There was a quaintness that came to waking up every morning to some exposed brick and the sunlight drenching the white curtains hanging in the window and ivory sheets that cloaked my body. There was an elegance that came with cozying up in my emerald green, crushed velvet chair that sat in the corner and became my nook for writing, reading, and studying.

I am looking forward to making this new bedroom even more exciting, although it is smaller, but a new home for myself in the coming year. As this new place is a work in progress, enjoy some interior inspo from my last place and enjoy a sneak peek to the way I incorporate the past into my new space!